I don't think I'll ever watch it but...

Thing is, certain films can destroy me, quite easily. I empathise and immerse myself almost totally in whatever film makers intend for me to feel. I feel real terror when watching frightening films, deep disgust, and the images come to me in nightmares which are even more terrifying. I sink into severe sadness and even sometimes, dissociate, if what I'm watching is about sociopaths. From what I've read about RFAD, I don't think I willingly want to do that to myself. Especially considering the fact that I've had serious addiction problems myself, though not of the heroin kind. I already know a fair bit of what these people are going through. My insight couldn't get much deeper. And yet, I feel like the film is a bloody car wreck or homicide that everyone else has seen but me. I feel cowardly and in awe of anyone brave enough to watch the film. I know that watching it would be more than moving for me and I'm not scared of much. But I am scared of this. Pure of heart or not, human suffering of any kind affects me very deeply.